When we look for a mate, we usually consider a lot of things, e.g., looks, smartness, kindness, sense of humor, etc. Interestingly, some people consider intellect as the first and foremost priority. Yes, you read it right; we call these people sapiosexual.
According to the French philosopher, Michel Foucault sexuality as a social construct, which we use as a form of control. He stated so in his well-researched study, The History of Sexuality in 1971.
In lexicon, we find a myriad of other options including sapiosexuality along with the traditional orientations, e.g., heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual.
Today we will know a bit more about sapiosexuality and the 10 signs that determine whether a person sapiosexual or not.
What is Sapiosexuality?
In layman’s term, sapiosexual means “sexually attracted to the intellect of other people”. When other people usually find smart boy or girl, a sapiosexual goes for highly intelligent people. The unique intellect of other people turned them on. To put simply, they are turned on by the intelligence of other people.
Merriam-Webster describes sapiosexual as “sexually attracted to highly intelligent people”.
If you want to know what sapiosexuality is, I would describe it as a mix between a sexual orientation and a fetish.
Sapiophile Vs. Sapiosexual:
You may have heard the term “sapiophile”, which is also concerned about people attracted to intelligent people. So the question is what is sapiophile then? What’s the difference between a sapiophile and a sapiosexual? Let me tear the confusion apart.
Actually, there is no difference between these two terms. The term sapiophile is less used, but refers to the same exact thing, being turned on or aroused by the highly intellect people.
10 signs you might be a Sapiosexual.
A sapiosexual may show a lot of signs and from time to time. Here are the top 10 signs you might be a sapiosexual.
1. Intelligence and only intelligence turns you on:
You find that a deep conversation with a highly intelligent person turns you up immediately. You are obsessed with his/her intellect and thoughts. You like to hear more about them
2. Only intelligence matters; you don’t even care for credentials:
When you look for a mate, you prefer intelligence to everything. You don’t feel to know about what the person does for a living, his/her other interests, or how much money s/he makes.
3. Foolishness turns you off badly:
You cannot just tolerate people who unravel easily and does stupid stuff. You like people with cool head no matter what, people who can rationalize their feelings and remains cool no matter how hard and unexpected the situation is.
I mean people like Recardo Kaka turn you on.
4. Physical attention is second to conversation:
While physical attention is a must for others to continue a relationship, conversation is a must for you. Conversation is the only thing that can hold you up. Your mate must deepen your knowledge, or there is no relationship.
5. You need a long talk:
You just want to keep the conversation going no matter what. Small talk is like a nightmare for you. You need long and deep conversions. That’s why you admire your mate’s ability to make a deep and long conversation that will deepen your knowledge.
6. You are a brilliant communicator:
You find that you always smile at how amazingly articulated a text you mate has sent you. You find that the brilliant and thoughtful texts, smart perspectives, and intelligent answers always turn you on. If things are such, you are probably a sapiosexual.
7. You love to debate and challenges:
If someone wants you to get into a debate, you just jump in it. Moreover, you take it further by taking the starter to a deeper level. You find that debates help you to expend your thoughts, so you need someone shy to use his/her knowledge to test or entice you.
You also love to take challenges when you are turned on.
8. You feel more attracted to your mate gradually:
The more you get to know the person, the more attracted you feel. You like a person who doesn’t express everything at once but does it gradually. You just love to dig in their deep intellect. You want to experience their wit, thoughts, and emotional intelligence. You observe the way they talk, the way they resolve conflicts.
You want to experience their depth and a thirst for life.
9. You are an amazing listener:
You like people who can teach you things, who can share their thoughts about what they learned and how they learned, thus enrich your knowledge. When you see some very passionate about knowledge, you can listen to them for hours without any inconvenience.
10. You always tend to learn something new:
In layman’s term, you need to expand your knowledge at all times. You always look for opportunities that can offer you to learn something new and grow intellectually.
When home, you keep searching for some good sources of information, e.g. books, journals, magazines, useful websites, etc. You attend lectures on various topics to expand the field of your interest. Literally, you don’t miss out on any opportunities to learn something new. When you find your mate indifferent about sharing knowledge, you lost your interest in them very quickly.
Let us know if you see any of these signs in yourself.
You can read about ambiversion.
